Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
When did angry sex become our thing?
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Randomize
