I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
We left an ass print on the piano.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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