is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
I think people are normalizing furries
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
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