His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Randomize
