didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
