I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
My vagina just recognized that song.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Randomize
