One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
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