Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
