I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Randomize
