Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
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