It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
