Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Randomize
