Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
