Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Randomize
