They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
