If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize