At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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