he thought i was a dude.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Randomize
