i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
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