i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
