You don't have asthma, your pregnant
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize