Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
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