I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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