I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
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