I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
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