Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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