she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
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