i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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