Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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