jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Randomize
