Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
someone get that fucking seahorse.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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