we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
