OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
