im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize
