Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Randomize
