I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Randomize
