i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
He shit in the fireplace
Randomize
