I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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