two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Randomize
