He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
