that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
