My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Randomize
