Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
She bit a glass in half.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
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