Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
there is glitter all over my balls
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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