Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Randomize