Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
This beer is not sobering me up at all
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
