Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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