Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
