Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
