So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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