Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
Randomize
