There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
