"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
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