Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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