yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
