i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Randomize
