Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
