So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
