We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Shame - the story of my life.
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