she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize