You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
My ATM looks so different sober.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
