NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
