I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Randomize