I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
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