He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Randomize
