I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
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