I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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