She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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