i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
