love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Randomize
