And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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