OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
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