That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
this is an emotional support booty call
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
