The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
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